Spiritual bypassing is a term used to describe a phenomenon where individuals use spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid facing and dealing with their emotional and psychological issues. It is a common defense mechanism that people use to avoid confronting pain, trauma, or difficult emotions. The saying, “That which we try not to think about or feel only grows larger,” is all too relevant when it comes to spiritual bypassing. As a Mental Health Counselor and Mindfulness Instructor, I try to help people avoid this problematic pitfall.
The concept of spiritual bypassing was first introduced by psychologist John Welwood in the 1980s. He observed that some individuals use spirituality as a way to bypass their emotional growth and remain trapped in a stagnant state of consciousness. Since then, many spiritual teachers, academics, philosophers and psychotherapists have explored the concept and its effects on individuals and spiritual communities. One of my favorites is called “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism,” by Chogyam Trungpa.
Spiritual bypassing can manifest in various forms. Some people may use meditation or prayer as a way to escape from their problems, while others may use the teachings of their faith or spirituality to justify their negative behaviors or beliefs. Some may even use spiritual practices to feel superior or special, further avoiding their underlying issues. .
One of the critical aspects of spiritual bypassing is the avoidance of negative emotions. Instead of facing the pain, fear, emptiness or sadness- people may use positive affirmations or spiritual teachings to deny or suppress their emotions. This denial can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, anger, depression, as well as physical health issues.
Another consequence of spiritual bypassing is often the inability to form genuine connections with others. When individuals use spirituality to avoid their emotions, they may struggle to empathize with others' struggles or understand their own emotions. This leads to a lack of intimacy and genuine connection in their relationships, which can cause them to engage in spiritual bypassing even more. As a result, a person can feel dissociated from themselves and the world around them.
Spiritual bypassing can also create a spiritual community that is based on superficial positivity rather than authentic connection, acceptance and growth. It can lead to a culture where individuals are ostracized or shamed for expressing negative emotions or challenging spiritual norms, further perpetuating the cycle of avoidance.
When individuals use spirituality to escape from their emotional and psychological struggles, they can become disconnected from themselves. This can have far-reaching effects on their mental, physical, and spiritual well-being, as well as their relationships and connections with others. Recognizing and addressing spiritual bypassing for what it is, is crucial to fostering healthy relationships and authentic individual growth.