Gaslighting 101

So what exactly is gaslighting? We hear this term thrown around a lot these days, so I thought I would take a quick deep dive into what gaslighting actually is.

Gaslighting is a term used to describe a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity. The term originates from a 1938 play, "Gas Light," in which a husband manipulates his wife into doubting her own sanity by dimming the gas lights in their home while denying that the light level has changed.

Gaslighting behavior can range from subtle and insidious to overt and dangerous. It is often employed by abusers, narcissists, sociopaths, and cult leaders to gain control over their victims by distorting reality and undermining their sense of self. This can take many different forms, including lying, denying, deflecting, minimizing, and blaming, as well as withholding information, love, and support.

One of the most insidious effects of gaslighting is that it can cause the targeted person to doubt their own grip on reality. Individuals may begin to second-guess their own perceptions, memories, and experiences, and may feel they are losing their sense of self. This can lead them to question their own judgment, feel isolated, lose a sense of self-worth and strangely enough become even more dependent on the gaslighter for validation and support.

Gaslighters often target specific vulnerabilities in their victims, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or trauma, to more effectively manipulate them. They may also use subtle cues and microaggressions to gradually erode their victim's confidence and self-worth over time. The effects of gaslighting can be profound and long-lasting, often leading to anxiety, depression, insomnia, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This in turn has a profound effect on a person’s health.

One of the most important things to remember about gaslighting is that it is a form of abuse. It is not the victim's fault, and it is not a reflection of their worth or intelligence. Gaslighting is a dangerous and insidious form of psychological manipulation that can have profound and long-lasting effects on people. It is important to recognize the signs of gaslighting and to seek help and support if you suspect that you or someone you know is being gaslit. By raising awareness about gaslighting, we can help make people more aware and hopefully prevent this form of abuse in the future.

The Law of Hedonic Adaptation

The Law of Hedonic Adaptation is a psychological theory that suggests individuals have a natural tendency to return to a stable level of happiness after experiencing either positive or negative life events. This law can be applied to various aspects of our lives, including happiness, relationships, and material possessions. If you are at all interested in mental health, The Law of Hedonic Adaptation is an important concept to understand. It can help you to better understand your own experiences and help you to make more informed decisions going forwards.

In the context of happiness, the Law of Hedonic Adaptation suggests that an individual's happiness levels will adapt and settle into a certain range over time, even after significant positive or negative life events. For example, winning the lottery may initially bring feelings of extreme happiness, but over time, the individual's happiness levels do tend to return to their baseline.

Similarly, in relationships, the Law of Hedonic Adaptation suggests that individuals will adapt to the presence (or absence) of a romantic partner, and their happiness levels will return to a natural baseline, regardless of the initial level of happiness or satisfaction in the relationship.

In terms of material possessions, the Law of Hedonic Adaptation suggests that individuals will adapt to owning new items or experiences, and their resulting happiness levels will eventually return to baseline. For example, purchasing a new car or upgrading to a larger home may initially bring feelings of happiness, but over time, those feelings will tend to dissipate as the individual becomes accustomed to these possessions.

It is important to note that the Law of Hedonic Adaptation does not suggest that individuals cannot experience long-term happiness or satisfaction. Rather, it suggests that individuals will always have a baseline level of happiness to which they will return, regardless of outside circumstances.

This is The Law of Hedonic Adaptation in a nutshell. It’s a good concept to keep in mind. It can help us to make more informed decisions about major life events, such as purchasing a new home, leaving or starting a relationship, buying a new car, moving or changing careers. It can also help us to better understand our own emotional experiences (why we feel the way we do) and manage our own expectations accordingly.